...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
