It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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