It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I came so hard my ears popped.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
