thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
