I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
