Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
