i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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