They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
