I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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