Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
