Plan B is the new Plan A
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
