Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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