apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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