There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just high enough for therapy.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
