I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
