Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
