You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize