Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
