this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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