Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
