I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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