party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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