i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
