Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
