Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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