drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
