There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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