Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
high people should be assigned attendants
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
