I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
