Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
