Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize