If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
