Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
