I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
