Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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