Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you would pick up someone in the library
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
