Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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