you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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