I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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