Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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