I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
