We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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