He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
