trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
