He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
