whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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