i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
