It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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