It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
