So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
