i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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