I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
