Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize