rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize