he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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