I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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