My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
