Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
